Alone  & Lonely. There is a difference between the two, but unfortunately it’s rather common for the state of being alone to bleed into feeling lonely. And actually by definition, you see each word listed as a synonym for the other, yet they can be worlds apart. Let me explain, being alone is to be in solitude. Solitude could be (and should be) a time of renewing your mind, thinking and discovering your inner thoughts, and processing your heart’s desires. When you’re alone you can take your mind anywhere you want to go. Two of the most powerful things you can do when you’re alone is PRAY and/or READ (the Bible). Praying in solitude allows for ultimate intimacy between you and God and prepares you to focus on each word in an environment of peace. And reading in solitude creates this world of peaceful isolation and calm, no matter where you are. In both situations you allow yourself to disconnect from everything and be taken in by the Lord. 

“For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.” Psalms 27:10

ON THE FLIP SIDE-when you’re lonely there is a longing for the presence of someone else. Feelings of sadness and despair often accompany loneliness. 

The difference between being alone and being lonely is that in being lonely you feel at a disadvantage, you feel as if you’re missing out…that you’re incomplete, and that may lead to desperation. The great thing about loneliness is that we usually know exactly why we feel lonely (unlike its cousin depression, where you can feel down and not even know why). The cure for loneliness is love: the attachment to it, the confidence in knowing that someone has it for you, the security in knowing you have support. And we are blessed because GOD IS LOVE. No matter the situation or circumstances. So in actuality, we are never really alone. And in fact, God gives special care to those who are lonely. 

“The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.” Psalms 34:18

The next time that you’re alone and feeling lonely, I challenge you to do this:

1. Close your eyes.
2. Think of the last person you communicated with and how they made you feel.
3. Consider the role this person plays in your life and reflect on the weight you give to their presence. Ask yourself, “did I leave that interaction feeling accepted and loved or rejected?” If you felt rejected and know that it’s a common feeling with this person, reevaluate that relationship.
4. Reflect on the things and people that you love and cherish and understand that no one person or interaction should be great enough to push you into a place of sadness and loneliness. If you find yourself beaten down by consistent feelings of rejection RUN towards lonesomeness. You simply need more alone time with God to build yourself up. 

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Matthew 6:6

Then and only then will you realize that you have the power to shift that feeling of loneliness into a place of simply being alone…where you can spend quality time with God, think clearly, and appreciate your life and blessings (both big and small).